Parenting Talk 1: Cyberwellness & Cyber Etiquette, 10th April 2010

As parents, how do we handle a situation when our child tells us "Give me five more minutes....", when he was already on the computer for more than 3 hours?

Do we know what games they are playing?  How much do we understand about online games?  Have we ever heard of the popular online game called War Craft? 

Online games are more often than not, team games, whereby 'gamers' log onto the game and form teams, with a purpose to defeat a common enemy (as in War Craft or Maplestory) or to take care of a family or community (as in SIMs).  If your child were to pull-out midway of the 'mission', his whole team may lose the war (as in War Craft) and when he gets back to school the next day, his online team-mates (usually school-mates) would blame him for causing their team's defeat.  This situation may cause a loss of friends.

The Cyberwellness Talk, held at AMK Presbyterian Church, on Sat 10th Apr, provided a good insight to the Cyberworld.

Let us first understand the "spheres" or circles, within which we interact according to our age.  For example:

• Up to age 10 years : play PSP (Play Station) -> type of games: virtual trading of items
• From 11 - 20 years : join online game communites -> play Multi-Media Online Games (eg Maplestory)  -> via Blogs or YouTube.
• From 21 - 30 years : join LAN communites -> play LAN games -> via Instant messaging/Forums.
• From 31 - 40 years : join Café communities -> use Console -> World-Wide Web.
• From 41 and above : use only Email

Much has been said on the dangers of the Internet gaming.  Certain behavorial indicators to look out are:

• Schoolwork suffered as too much time has been spent on playing computer games.
• Child becoming restless or irritable when parent tried to reduce or restrict his gaming activities.
• Missed studies or CCA to play more computer games.
• Lied about his time spent on computer games.
• Spend increasingly more time and money in order to maintain the same level of thrill and excitement.
• Playing computer games is used a a form of escape from problems or stress.
• Child's mind becoming excessively focused on computer games.
• Resorted to stealing or borrowing money from family or friends in order to buy computer games from store or visitng the "internet-cafe".

The key distinguishing feature of these Multi-Media Online Games is that the Game Never Ends!  One can play forever! This is because all games push you to better yourself, to attain a higher level or to acquire more and more riches. And it is in this drive to achieve this goal that the game becomes an addiction for the child.

Parents must also be aware of the different Video Game classifications i.e. Adult Themes, Violence levels, Sex and Nudity, Language and Drug Use. For example, parents have to be careful that our child do not play games that contain too realistic depiction of violence for his age, or encourages sadistic (eg Grand Theft Auto) or sexual violence.

Secondly, we have to raise resilient kids.  What does this mean?

Dos :

• We have to discover their talents and nurture them.
• We introduce them to real-world activities, eg out-door activities.

Don'ts :

• Avoid using computer games to "nanny" them.  In other words, avoid using computer games to occupy them.
• Avoid positioning gaming as "reward".  This means using computer games as reward.

Thirdly, we play games with our kids.

• We decide on the kind of games.
• We choose the right season, e.g. after homework is completed or after the exams.

Here is a useful set of rules laid down by Choy family as regards to gaming:

1. All homework to be completed before gaming.
2. No gaming after 10.30 pm during school weekdays, Monday to Thursday.
3. Always ask parent permission to play.
4. Stop playing within 5 minutes when asked to do so.
5. No gaming at all during exam period.
6. Bad results will mean less playing-time during school holidays.
7. Always put family members first in priority to play with.  Co-operative games over one-person games.
8. Never chat with anyone you do not know on the internet.
9. Games must be approved by parents.  Parents have the right to ban any games not appropriate.
10. Gaming is not a MUST. It is a privilege givern by parents and can be taken away.

Consequences of breaking rules include confiscation of gaming consoles or locking of computers.

We have to be involved in the Internet activities of our children:

• Maintain a close communication with our child : find out how is he doing on the Internet.
• Set rules and guildelines : eg not to provide personal details to "friends" on the Internet.
• Place the computer in an open area : so as to discourage inappropriate Internet surfing.
• Get to know your child's Internet friends : Be friendly and approachable.
• Make a police report : if you feel that your child is in danger, or if your child is fearful (eg in case of "cyber-bullying")

On a personal note:

Parents cannot forbid our children from entering into the Cyberworld as the Internet is here to stay and is integral to our lives. We can only prepare ourselves and teach our children to be Cyber-wise, to moderate themselves on internet-gaming, and to impress on them that there are much more to life outside the computer. There is greater joy to experience. One only has to go outdoors and meet people face-to-face, rather than meeting them in "cyber-face".

Work Experience / Work Shadowing Programme for Sec 3

During the school holidays, PHS is organising a Work Experience/Work Shadowing Programme for Sec 3 pupils.

This is part of the Career Guidance Programme and the school is seeking opportunities to expose our Sec 3 pupils to the work environment.

Our Sec 3 pupils have indicated their areas of interest :
Engineering, Hotel and Hospitality, Banking and Finance, Restaurant Management, Psychology and Mass Communication / Media Communication.

There is a choice of 2 periods, which are negotiable:
- 31st May to 4th Jun
- 22 to 26 Nov

A point of note is that there is no necessity to provide the pupils with allowance.

 

If you know of any company or perhaps your employer or you may have your own business and are interested in supporting the school's programme, the school has prepared a Letter of Request for you to formally request the Company.  The Letter contains more information on the programme. Once the Letter is completed, please return it to the school through your child/ward, or as a scanned copy to our email address : presbyterianhighpsg@gmail.com

Please contact us for a copy of the Letter via our email address above or as a comment in our blog.  We will get in touch with you.

For more information on the programme, you can contact the school's career guidance coordinator, Ms Chin Kean Kean at chin_kean_kean@moe.edu.sg

International Friendship Day, 15th April 2010

On Thursday, 15th April, the Whole World will come to PHS!

Each class will be decorated according to the theme of a country by the students in celebration of International Friendship Day.

PSG has been invited by the school to take part in the celebrations.

2 Parent Volunteers will be part of a panel of judges for Best Decorated Class Competition.  Judging will take place at 3.30pm on 15th April.

If you can cook and serve a delicious dish, snack or dessert that is representative of a country, we encourage you showcase it to the students during their recess time for their sampling on Friday 16th April. You only need to make a platter or tray for sampling and once it's finished, there is no need to replenish. Please note that there are two recess times that day and you need to serve two portions.

On 16th April, we would also like to appeal for 2 parent volunteers to present prizes during the prize-giving ceremony during Assembly time at 11.45am.

Please let us know if you can bring a dish for sampling.  It need not be in large quantities, but sufficient for sampling and tasting.  The dish therefore, should be in bite-size pieces or able to be cut into sampling-sized pieces.  There were suggestions like sushi (Japan), malay kuehs (Indonesia/Malaysia).

You can send your reply to our email address: presbyterianhighpsg@gmail.com or send a comment to this post.  We will get in touch with you.

He Died for Me!

If He is the King of Israel, let Him now come down from the cross, and we will believe Him. —Matthew 27:42

William and Mary Tanner were crossing the railroad tracks when it happened. Mary's foot slipped and wedged itself between the rail and the wooden crosswalk. She tried frantically to pull her foot free as the sound of an approaching train was heard. There were but seconds left as the express came rushing toward her around a curve. Will Tanner pulled on her foot, desperately trying to free her.

As the train came closer and its whistle screamed and brakes shrieked, Will held her in his arms. While people shuddered in horror, the train thundered over them. One witness said that just before the engine hit them, he heard the brave man cry, "I'll stay with you, Mary!" That is great love!

This story reminds me of our Saviour, who loved us with a love that can save us (John 3:16). Death came hurtling at Him as He hung on a cross and took the full penalty we deserved. He heard people cry out to Him to save Himself and come down from the cross (Matthew 27:40). But to save others He chose not to save Himself (v.42).

With divine, sacrificial love, Jesus refused to spare His own life. He died so that He could provide forgiveness of sins for us. Our Savior stayed on the cross—for you and for me! — Mart De Haan

Oh can it be, upon a tree, the Saviour died for me

My soul is thrilled, my heart is filled

To think He died for me! - Newton

Nails could not have kept Jesus on the cross if His love for us had not held Him there.

From "Our Daily Bread", 9th April 2003