ENCOURAGE REFLECTION ...

What is reflection?
Simply put, it is the act of thinking about our relationships, our desires and our behaviors.

The Purpose?
To stimulate internal motivation.

Internal motivation?
Most of the time, we impose on our children "externally".
Even though this will work temporarily to control them, we won't change them.
In fact, controlling others is counterproductive to the actual message we want to send.

So, how do we influence others to change themselves?
The most effective approach is to have them reflect.
Use effective questions to help in their reflection.

Here are 4 invaluable set of questions that leads to a change in behavior:

(1) What do you want?
This question stimulates thinking and leads to reflection.

(2) Is that what you are choosing to do helping get what you want?
This question leads to evaluation of one's behavior

(3) If what you are choosing to do is not getting your what you want, then what is your plan?
This question encourages the making of a plan.

(4) What are your procedures to implement the plans?
This question leads to specific steps required to carry out the plan.

Asking effective questions is a skill that requires practice.
At times, when we are about to criticize a child, STOP & THINK (of a positive question and ask)
An after-thought would be "Am I proud of the way I interacted with my child."